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When you act according to the will of another person and suppress your own wishes, you have identified a part of yourself with the other person. If somebody says your effort was 'not good enough' or that you 'shouldn't have done that', then you start to question yourself.
Possible explanations (other than psychopathy) are: a low capacity for empathy and compassion, not understanding or valuing the importance of validation, and/or not knowing how to express it effectively. The well-intentioned invalidators often defend that the goal is to help someone feel better or differently — to an emotion they judge as a more accurate, more valid one.If you buy something that doesn't work properly and then try to fix it yourself, you invalidate the warranty.If you have a wacky theory that cars grow from trees, your teacher might invalidate your theory by taking you on a tour of an auto factory.If you’re the recipient of invalidating messages, know this: YOU’RE NOT CRAZY! Probably the hardest things to change are the things we don’t realize we’re doing – like invalidating our partner.
In other words, I change the mask but my "touchview" class doesn't see the new mask.